Or “Why I’m taking a hiatus from mommy blogs”
I coined a phrase once, when overhearing a conversation between a friend of mine and her husband. I don’t remember the specifics, but I think she was in a bit of a mood, and when her husband complimented her on the way she looked, she started ranting about something… whether it was her desire to lose weight or her hair or her clothes — I forget what. Being an impartial listener, I commented, “Marriage is wasted on the married.”
There have been other occasions to use it in the last few years, when I hear wives rag on their husbands for something he was doing with good intentions, or when a wife complains about something without thinking, and she really should be thankful for whatever it was. If a man was standing in my kitchen and complimented me on how I looked, especially if we had matching rings on our left hands, I’d like to think I would thank him and kiss him smack on the lips.
I probably would fall into the same human errors as everyone else, of course. But from the outside, it’s easy to see when people take things for granted.
I know I take things for granted about my state in life all the time. My friends and I have tried to be more conscious of it lately — whether we’re out on a “school night,” and enjoying ourselves without having to find a babysitter, or whether we’re spending more money than we would be if we had another person to think about, we try to remind each other vocally of our situation, so that we’ll be more thankful for what we have rather than pining for what we don’t. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Or the other side of the blog world.
I’ve decided I need to take a hiatus from mommy blogs. Not so much the blogs of people I know, but the blogs of people I only know through the interwebs.
The most popular Catholic blogs of my gender and age are mommy blogs. And rightly so – the majority of girls my age are wives and mothers, and it’s human nature to want to read about lives so similar to your own. I conjectured to a friend that my blog, for example, will never become popular among the mommy set. Some moms write about laundry, cleaning, giving birth – you know, their daily lives– and other moms eat it up. But my daily life? While my friends might like to see what I’m up to, not many moms want to know that a single girl spent her Thursday evening at a Bourbon Party, her Friday at a CD release party, and her Saturday at a neighborhood pizza and wine bar.
(So… basically I’m addressing this post to no one, since only my friends read my blog. But I digress.)
Not surprisingly, since I am not in the same state of life, I have found reading mommy blogs can make me dissatisfied with life. It hit me when I saw the gathering in Austin for moms. Do they deserve a getaway? Sure. Does it look like a fantastic event? Absolutely. But one of my first thoughts was, “I want a break from my state in life, too.” And I can’t have it. Have at it, Moms. Go live a weekend of single-life bliss. Drink cocktails and talk to other women without children screaming. You deserve it. And I mean that with all my heart.
But it hurt the same heart to realize the tables can’t be turned. No one can give me a weekend with a husband who loves me and kids who, despite their screams, are bone-of-my-bone and flesh-of-my-flesh. So remember that, too, Moms. When your single-girl weekend is over, be thankful for the people who love you.
So I’m going to step back. Don’t worry moms, it’s not you, it’s me. I just need a little hiatus from reading about diapers and husbands and what you wore on Sunday.
I’ll probably be back before too long.